The internet is a suprising place with many nuances, for me one of the more surreal and enlightning is the wonderful world of MSN messenger.
Only this morning i recieved an e-mail from a friend who i have never met but hold dear to my heart asking me what were the staples of the traditional English and how is it prepared. Please bear in mind my friend is a fair dinkum Aussie lady who apparently looks suprisingly good in shorts.
On reciept of the mail, I quickly logged onto MSN and there was Mystee, hello's were exchanged and a long chat ensued which started about the English breakfast but quickly descended into a protracted bout of e flirting, apparently she would love to fiddle behind me as I cooked in my apron. Now im not one for the fiddle myself, i prefer the ukelele being a big George Formby fan but i digress, how quickly can a decent conversation reduce its self to base level on the mere mention of me in apron.
Now much is lost in translation between written English and written Aussie, sausages are snags, black pudding can only be found in the POM only sections of supermarkets (POM only sections yes) and I assume hotplates are the rings we have on our cooker's not actually plates cooked in the oven.
Now I was asked to provide a full menu and how we English go about our peculiar tradition of having a full English. So here goes for you Mystee my darling .....flirting on a blog already.
To serve 1 lavishly hungry extremely hungover Englishman you need
Ingredients
4 Cumberland sausages
2 Eggs (not for me im eggophobic)
4 large rashers Wiltshire smoked best bacon
1 Tin Heinz curried beans
4 Toast, preferably Warbies premium with butter
2 Fried bread
3 Hash browns
1 Large slice Black Pudding
Mushrooms and Tomato's are optional
1 Pint mug of tea
Condiments must include Daddies brown sauce, Pepper, Salt, Tomato sauce and for me the option of Tabasco to add to the Beans.
All this must be served upon the toast (not the tea obviously) on the largest plate available to man.
As the full English is usually a Sunday morning experience, the sport section of a quality newspaper is a welcome addition to the breakfast table.
Im hungry now.
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5 comments:
I feel I must lob in my two-penneth at this point. The perfect breaky is:
2 Wabberthwaite Cumberland sausage.
2 rashers of good back bacon.
2 slices of Lancashire black pudding.
1 fried egg, soft yolk.
a good handfull of fried mushrooms.
tinned tomatoes.
Heinz beans.
Fried bread (fried in the bacon fat).
Toast or good fresh bread.
1 large steaming mug of coffee.
and without question... HP sauce.
HP sauce is for wimps
Daddies packs a punch
Daddies is all vinegar, it has no finesse, no elan. HP is refined and looks down on daddies for the tasteless shite that it is.
HP is a little more expensive, but you're worth it.
;)
Daddies is for big boys hence the name.
HP leaves you feeling in debt
HP all the way young fella me lad
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